HEAVEN – Terry Jayne, late crafter and experienced yarn hoarder, mourns as her widowed husband sells her supply stash based on exaggerated claims of sales at the craft store.
“I’m just in shock,” sighs Jayne, plopping down on fluffy white pom-poms. “I never actually could combine discounts, but he always thought I did. And then… the lie snowballed from there.”
According to multiple sources, her husband is currently listing her entire stash on Etsy. He hasn’t left the computer in six days.
When asked about receipts, Jayne broke down in tears.
“They were perfect for collages!”, sobbed the victim of a rogue sewing machine. “Receipt paper can handle the weight of acrylic paint, sewing, and embellishments. I couldn’t just let them go to waste.”
Jackie Mills, a professional craft buyer, investigated the online listings posted by Jayne’s husband. “The net loss is groundbreaking,” said Mills under her breath. “With this kind of price point, these listings might even get flagged. Actually, I should place an order before that happens…”
Meanwhile, Jayne is attempting to make peace with the choices she made during her lifetime.
“I never meant to hurt anyone,” she said wistfully. “I mean, there are so many half-finished projects that have died and gone to Heaven. I could have really used those supplies up here.”
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