BOSTON, MA – 78-year-old grandma Eileen Watson has allegedly managed to knit a chunky circle scarf out of pasta noodles and fine silverware, multiple sources confirmed.
The incident took place at 5:43 pm yesterday evening. Watson, known to locals as a “harmless” grandma, was enjoying a pleasant dinner with her granddaughter, 26-year-old Lorna Hart. The duo was celebrating Hart’s groundbreaking discovery of her craft room floor.
According to Hart, it was one of the most confusing things she has ever witnessed.
“It all happened so fast,” recalled the Michaels Rewards member. “I mean, I did notice that she was pushing noodles around for a while, but she seemed to be enjoying her meal. I went to the bathroom, returned to the table, and then – bam – she was casting off a chunky circle scarf made of noodles.”
Unsurprisingly, the episode did not go unnoticed. Fellow customers were distracted by Grandma’s actions, prompting several to stream the appalling occurrence on Facebook Live. One even stopped eating breadsticks.
“I’m just in shock that the scarf is so chunky,” said a distressed customer, who wishes to stay anonymous. “Spaghetti noodles are like medium weight, no more than Category 4. Why was the scarf so bulky, so thick? It just doesn’t add up.”
When asked if Grandma showed any signs of noodle-knitting, Hart insisted that it the act is extremely out of character.
“She hadn’t been acting weird or anything,” said a bewildered Hart. “Like, she felt really inspired after we found my floor, but who wouldn’t be? I just never thought she would destroy a perfectly good spaghetti dinner. I thought she was hungry.”
After realizing what she had done, Grandma put on her new accessory and flew from the scene. She has not been seen since.
At press time, Harry Sutton, Grandma’s boyfriend, could not be reached for comment.
UPDATE: Grandma has now moved on to lo mein leg warmers and shows no sign of slowing down. Local noodle makers have been urged to stay on the lookout.
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